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我把詩挖空,讓孩子去思考看看,這些格子,應該怎麼填?
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該到(1 )中去走走: 泥路對照的,可能會是甚麼呢?
給雨潤過的泥路,
一定是涼爽又溫柔;
(2 )著新綠的小草, 應該是動詞還是名詞?或是形容詞?
已一下子洗淨了(3 );
不再膽怯小白菊,
慢慢的抬起他們的頭,
試試寒,試試暖,
然後一瓣瓣的(4 ); 孩子剛開始說:一瓣瓣「凋零」,這個有可能嗎?讓他們討論。
抖去水珠的鳳蝶兒
在木葉間自在的(5 ), 翱翔?比較像是鳥兒,這裡是蝴蝶,該怎麼說呢?
把牠的飾彩的智慧書頁
曝著陽光一開一收。
到小徑中去走走吧,
在天晴了的時候;
赤著腳,攜著手,
踏著新泥,涉過溪流。
溪水在溫風中(6 ), 飄動?比較像是風喔?水呢?
看山間移動的暗綠——–
雲的腳跡———-它也在(7 )。 這裡的「它」說的又是誰呢?
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絞盡腦汁中。
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要想出正確的答案,一定要將這首詩反覆讀過好幾次啊!
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最後的答案:
1.【小徑】:有正確的小徑、森林、小路、戶外、溪水。溪水比較不妥,其他大部分都通,當然,小徑最貼切。
2.【炫耀】:有沖洗、清洗、守護、清水沖、雨水滋潤。這題因為詩人的擬人法,不易一樣,但雨水滋潤著新綠的小草,也不錯啊!
3.洗淨了【塵垢】,孩子的答案有:衣裳衣裳大地大地花朵,可以看出有些組別不太能讀出詩劇中的主詞是:小草。
4.小白菊一瓣瓣的【綻透】:綻放綻放綻放展開盛開都不錯,引導孩子發現差一個字的「綻透」更有味道和細緻。
5.鳳蝶兒在木葉間自在的【閒遊】:穿梭飛舞飛舞飛舞飛舞
6.溪水在溫風中【暈皺】:流動流動流動流動緩緩流動,比較可惜沒有和溫風發生交互作用
7.雲的足跡它也在【閒遊】:穿梭走動飄動擺動緩緩飄動
到這裡,其實孩子已經對這課的的字詞有很深的體會,也來回讀了好幾次詩句了。
第二堂課,我帶孩子練習走了一次摘要。
過程不細講,但教學完我總記得:起點行為、教學設計、教學、教學評量
摘要完隔幾天我請孩子練習習作的摘要:
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摘要順利,還可以自己加入字句使其通暢。
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第三堂課字詞報告和課文深究
字詞報告-大概方式如這裡:https://yichanlin.com/2014/08/blog-post_31.html
第四堂習作和寫作
第五堂寫作
每次寫作總是百花爭鳴,其實各有各的考量。像是這課來說,可以寫…時候、也可以寫一首天晴了的時候、也可配合整單元寫出悠閒的詩句、寫景的詩句,或是將詩文寫成文章、補充其他詩句再練習寫詩寫文……都可以。
但在選擇時,就要看:一、學生的程度二、老師的考量。
程度好的學生當然可以百花爭鳴,但如果我選…的時候,自由擴散的話,一來學生第一次寫詩、二來孩子的擴散能力和語詞還沒形成系統。同時兩大挑戰,對孩子太困難了。
因此,我選定的是:在天晴的時候的新詩習寫,練習寫過一次詩句的形式。
也希望讓孩子體會悠閒看見身邊的美、寫景、擬人、譬喻的重點。
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首先,先帶孩子到校園去看看,寫作,體驗很重要。
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事先,我請孩子享三張照片。一張微觀、一張動態、一張遠觀。
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每到一個地方,請孩子說說這裡有甚麼?感覺如何?
喜歡哪裡?
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正在推坑同學叫他去跑一跑哈哈!
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校園裡動態的有鳥兒、運動場。
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通學步道好美!你看樹的姿態和悠哉的樣子
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果然就有孩子選擇這裡
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溪水在溫風中暈皺,
雲的腳跡———-它也在閒遊。
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來看看作品吧!(全班作品都有喔)
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就這樣,全班20人全部完成(另有一位是特教生),但可以看見因為寫得比較趕,所以常見的問題是自己沒有反覆唸讀幾次、前後意境沒有結合,所以下次將要配合老師說明加上互相建議,再把詩句再修改更好一點。
進階,就可以利用「一張紙寫一首詩」來作進階挑戰了。